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The Man Who Almost Did Something

by The Ethyl Mermen

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1.
Happy? 01:53
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If I knew what made me happy If I knew what happy meant Would I be lying here bewildered Would you repay me instead If I had stranded pearls of wisdom If I had a brain in my head Would the road rise up to meet me And would I stumble if it did
2.
Five More Minutes 03:11
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3.
Badbird Weekend 02:47
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I stumbled in upon my feet of clay But I'm much too weak to speak Too drunk to hatch a sober thought But not drunk enough to speak Afraid, I'm not saved' I'm afraid I'm not saved Embracing you was tempting fate itself The only thing to fear was fear And if this all should end it's just as well The perfect end to a lousy year Afraid, I'm not saved' I'm afraid I'm not saved No, there's no way to know if it's right But we fell in love that night Yes, you've second-guessed What it is you feel But deep down inside it's real I go on waking just to please my kin And to see what happens next The splendid stink of possibility The awful truth when I connect Afraid, I'm not saved' I'm afraid I'm not saved
4.
Number One College Chart 03:08
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In my rearview mirror I see Faded dreams and foggy memories Like a rusted wreck on the highway So I wrote a song about a road that went on for a thousand memories It started straight but things took a turn You quit your job for a cut in pay 'cuz that's all there is these days 40 hours ain't enough to make hay Nothing worked out like you planned Control slipped right through your hands You want someone to just grab the wheel Yeah I fucked up once or twice But no one ever felt sorry for me 'cuz the road I'm on is well-traveled Well there's a few things that I've found If you want to keep your wreck on the ground Drive a bargain and leave an exit route And don't look back You've seen the dust and the tire tracks Like a throwaway pop song The story goes on and on
5.
Crawling Toward the Middle 02:21
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Hey! A feeble voice that's pushed to cracking Over chords stretched til there snapping A bad habit of mistracking the talent that he's lacking Bless his mess and forgive him all his drivel 'cuz he's crawling toward the middle he's crawling toward the middle He'll die happy if you like him just a little 'cuz he's crawling toward the middle he's crawling toward the middle Hey! So he'll celebrate the selling Of himself and his recordings The busking and networking The endless circle-jerking Bless his mess and forgive him all his drivel 'cuz he's crawling toward the middle he's crawling toward the middle He'll die happy if you like him just a little 'cuz he's crawling toward the middle he's crawling toward the middle All that glittered was plundered The rest is tired and uninspired Bless his mess and forgive him all his drivel 'cuz he's crawling toward the middle he's crawling toward the middle He'll die happy if you like him just a little 'cuz he's crawling toward the middle he's crawling toward the middle Hey!
6.
Ugh! in E 02:48
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7.
The Governor 03:45
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I started talking but you walked away No one listens to me anyway You’ll face the consequences one of these days I’m the governor, your inner conscience, I filter decisions so you can live with yourself You better listen ‘cause it’s good for your health You can wag your tongue while you’re having fun And believe you deserve all that’s under the sun But you’re gonna have to answer to someone We fool ourselves by what we become Always looking out for number one Yeah, we think we are the chosen ones The trappings of success come with a price A little chicken soup and Mom’s advice So don’t ignore that internal device — the governor If you’ve got a clean heart and a dirty mind The past will catch up with you every time You’re gonna have to pay No one will grant your stay from the governor
8.
The Man Who Almost Did Something 04:17
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Rolling thunder I remember A gun for hire whose time expired Missed his chances in passing glances For every problem he found excuses Channel surfer going nowhere On the sofa he’s a loafer Out of focus, scoliosis Self-absorbed and always bored Caffeinated, cold and jaded Sedentary, quite contrary Waits around for inspiration Never follows through completion He’s the man who almost did something He’s the man who almost did something He lives every day like every other day Always follows the same routine A wrinkle in his eye and he wonders where the time goes by Flavor crystals starter pistols Suffocation in moderation Thread the needle in the haystack Once he did it he couldn’t top it Creaky joints, 1,000 points Of light for sale at the dollar store Happy to hang from a new rope Found the bargain he was looking for He’s the man who almost did something He’s the man who almost did something He lives every day like every other day Always follows the same routine The wrinkle in his eye and he wonders where did time go by?
9.
Never Gonna Know the Answer 03:06
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Never gonna know the answer unless you ask her Never gonna know the answer unless you ask her La da da da da She's from Arizona She wants to get to know ya But she's not gonna wait around for your moves So put away your fear of rejection It's not like it;s an election All she wants is some laughs and a little affection La da da da da Never gonna know the answer unless you ask her Never gonna know the answer unless you ask her So let down your defenses And drop all your pretenses She's only gonna give you one or two chances Don't be so damn serious You're not all that mysterious And what she's got will make you feel delirious La da da da da
10.
Unkindest Cu t 03:14
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You're all lies and imagery Bred from stripmall anarchy Sugar and spice and all things nice Cradled in a heart of blood and ice Then you hit wall after wall Sorrow and pity is all And I can't feel for the likes of you Reality is spinning and you turn the screw And I'll die wondering how you turned into the unkindest cunt of them all What you send is what you get Precious time and you're wasting it For every moment you regret The dream turns sour and circumspect Then you hit wall after wall Sorrow and pity is all And I can't feel for the likes of you Reality is spinning and you turn the screw And I'll die wondering how you turned into the unkindest cunt of them all I keep pretending I'd like to be A bigger person a better me I thought I was too old to hate but it's never too late In your land of make believe You think you're all you'll ever need Lonely and sad is what you'll be Then you'll die eventually Then you hit wall after wall Sorrow and pity is all And I can't feel for the likes of you Reality is spinning and you turn the screw And I'll die wondering how you turned into the unkindest cunt of them all
11.
Emily 05:30
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A smile like sunshine, red ribbons in your hair Calloused hands from fighting off the fear A dream turned sour the truth that began to stink Dumb enough to feel what we were fool enough to think Emily, you know me I never had a lot to prove But when the time came to stand I cowered and ran Now what have I left to lose? Not you We cried together but tonight I'll lie alone As I transcend my worthless flesh and bones I'll douse the light, the scars and the stars above And though I failed, will you remember me with love? Emily, you know me I never had a lot to prove But when the time came to stand I cowered and ran Now what have I left to lose? Not you Silly little saviour Save your tears for later Silly little saviour Save your tears for later I will always love you I will always love you I will always love you My heart is slowin' down Vultures circle 'round And now I won't be bound to no one

about

Recorded by David Douglas at Fort Roxxzz, Chicago.
Mixed by Phil Doherty and David Douglas.
Mastered by Dan Stout at Colossal Mastering in Chicago.

credits

released January 7, 2004

Phil Doherty: guitar and vocals (1, 3, 5, 6, 10, 11)
David Douglas: guitar, bass and vocals (1, 2)
Eric Lathrop: drums
Tom Long: bass, guitar and vocals (1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 9)

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The Ethyl Mermen Chicago

The Ethyl Mermen is a Chicago trio that writes songs using guitars, bass, drums and words. Some have hooks.
The band is an estimated combined weight of 535 pounds (242.67 kg) and measures 17 feet, 11 inches (5.461 m). It takes the form of solids, liquids and gases and produces hydrocarbons. ... more

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